Only intolerance can save your soul!

Our loving, Heavenly Father is really pissed off. You shouldn’t think for a moment that you’re going to be spared his wrath, because God is really angry at you! If you want to avoid the potentially fatal swine flu, and, more importantly, eternal damnation, you need to read on.

I had been hearing rumours about links between homosexuality and swine flu, so I figured it was best to go to the source of all credible information – the religious right. The following is what I learned today from two telephone conversations and a couple of interviews I heard on the radio, I hope it is as helpful for you as it has been for me.

Homosexuality is un-Christian, so why is it that people think America (which is a Christian nation, founded by devout Christians) ought to allow gay marriage? Do you think it’s just a coincidence that this swine flu outbreak has occurred right after several American states legalised gay marriage? Let me tell you right now, it’s no coincidence.

For years, Christian groups have been talking about the futility of trying to find a medicinal cure for AIDS. Christians know full well that the only cure is Jesus. AIDS is a disease that you catch by being gay, and God doesn’t make mistakes. There’s no question about it; if you have AIDS, you’re gay, you might not know it yet, but God does.

Unlike AIDS, you’re not only at risk of contracting swine flu if you’re gay, you can also contract the potentially fatal disease by being tolerant of homosexuality. Is God teaching intolerance? Yes, but only intolerance of sin. If you are tolerant of sin, you are also sinning and will be punished eternally.

Word of Faith Christian Center have been so helpful in the past, and really opened my eyes to the world around me, so I figured I’d call them to find out what I need to do. I told them I was really worried about my sister, as I’d heard that God was sending another loving wave of devastation in the direction of homosexuals and ‘fag-enablers’. I asked if they would pray that God would show mercy, but the prayer warrior instead prayed that my sister be delivered and renounce homosexuality.

You’re only hurting yourself by struggling in vain against God’s will, so it’s clear, if you want to avoid swine flu, then join the great fight on the only side that can win, and spread God’s loving message of intolerance for homosexuality!