Thank God for ‘creative scientists’!

I know it’s only been a few days since I was saved by Zombie Jesus, but I’ve already had my first crisis of faith.

I put a call in to Word of Faith Christian Center to see if they could ease my mind. I didn’t get through to Xena, but the lady I spoke to told me her name was “prayer warrior”, too. I told her that I’d just begun to read Genesis and wasn’t sure if I was supposed to take it seriously, surely it is just a joke? I asked if Christians are expected to accept this as truth when it’s so at odds with scientific evidence.

Her response was that “the scientists are lying, believe me. God created the whole world, he made the sky, he made the clouds, and he made the sun, do you think a scientist did all that?”, I explained that’s not what anyone is suggesting and begun to talk about evolution, to which she said “I don’t know anything about the revolution”, and asked me to hang up and call back to talk to someone else.

I rang back, and spoke to a man who told me that evolution is just a theory, and that it is not the truth. Only the Bible is the absolute truth. I explained that it is a scientific theory, and it is scientific fact, to which he said “God’s word is truer than the facts. Facts are reality, God’s word is truth. Truth is above the facts. Meaning whatever God says, goes.”

He went on to define science as “the study of what God made”, and that some proponents of evolution “worship Satan, some of them are ignorant, and some of them are just annoying.”

I was feeling pretty discouraged about my new faith, after being told that it’s not reality, it’s just ‘the truth’. I was just about ready to give up on my new faith altogether, but I was lucky enough to speak to a man named Ron from needhim.org who told me about the wonders of “creative science”.

Ron and I were discussing human origins when he told me that “creative scientists have got all kinds of answers.” I asked what creative science is, he said “creative scientists study Grand.. uhh..”, “intelligent design?”, I offered, generously.

Ron went on to tell me some of the great discoveries of creative science, “Here’s one thing, human beings have finger prints, apes don’t have finger prints, that ought to tell you something right there.” Wow, I never knew that!

I asked “is it true that Humans are the only living organism with DNA?”, “yeah, that’s right!”, Ron responded.

“They’re finding every day that a lot of evidence points right back to the Bible, the Bible says that we’re made from dust and they’re (the creative scientists) finding out that we are now.” Ron went on to explain the problem with cloning; “the Bible says we’re made from dust, so here’s the deal; they (the ‘uncreative scientists’) claim they can clone, but they can’t make dust!”

So now that I’d learned about some of the amazing discoveries of creative science, and how this work supports the Genesis account, I could sleep easy. My faith had been tested, but I made it through. All I can say is “thank God for creative scientists!”