When Lamarck meets Pokémon

I was talking with an old friend of mine over Skype when he started talking about my “beliefs as an atheist” (I could tell this was not going to end well..) and how evolutionary theory is filled with “fundamental flaws” that need to be exposed.

“Nobody disagrees that there must be will driving evolution, the question is ‘who’s will is it?’, is it God’s, or is it the animal itself? You believe that by sheer will, the giraffe’s neck will grow longer over generations. I believe that God is responsible for all change. Let me ask you, which makes more sense? If I sit down and start hoping some situation in my life will change, this will achieve nothing, I must pray to God and he will answer my prayers.”

I explained that it seemed he was talking about Lamarckian evolution, that because there was a ‘need’ for the giraffe’s neck to grow, through use it would become longer and stronger, and this trait would be passed on to successive generations. I explained that Lamarck was wrong, and begun to explain Darwinian evolution when I was interrupted by this question..

“So if humans evolved from monkeys, why can’t we observe other monkeys evolving into humans?”

I explained the inaccuracy of the initial statement, and how this is a pretty fundamental misunderstanding of evolutionary theory. I was beginning to talk about how it seems to suit the Creationist’s position to propagate misconceptions about evolutionary theory when I was once again interrupted..

“You cannot dispute that humans are the most evolved animal!”

I most certainly can! I would normally explain that all living organisms on Earth are equally evolved as they share a common ancestor and have therefore been evolving for the same amount of time, I didn’t. I was getting quite frustrated with trying to have a intellectual discussion with someone clearly incapable of doing so, so I asked “what do you understand as being the ‘goal’ of evolution?”

“To become human. Well, that’s not absolutely true, all animals have a ‘target’, which is a more evolved animal that they’re trying to become. How you can possibly think this works is beyond me, because, like I said, if monkeys evolved into humans, there wouldn’t be any monkeys left!”

So at first he was arguing against Lamarckian evolution, and now Pokémon evolution? Ah, and when I suggested he was making a straw man argument, he terminated the call.